Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Fighting it naturally.....Day one

Today was a very emotional day but I made it through it. 

The thing I am most excited about is the Amazing Grass. Today I tried the watermelon flavor for energy and I am already hooked. I mixed it with Diet V8 splash. Not so bad. But talk about energy. I felt it not even an hour after I consumed it. It was far beyond amazing. I still have three flavors left to try but unless the others are as good, I think this is the one I'm going with. It's just too good to pass up. 

Even though today was beyond a 10 on the emotional scale, I feel like the boost of energy helped me make it through it. Usually at 3 pm I'm about to die for a nap but not today. I was wide awake. This gives me hope. 

I also had organic strawberries and a chicken and cheese sandwich for lunch. And of course plenty of water. It's not uncommon for me to eat the same thing day after day for about a week so this won't be too hard for me. I can purchase a few things from Whole foods and it will do me for an entire week. Not so sure this would work with someone with a family. I think it might get slightly expensive. 

So I'm proud today. On a scale from 1 to 10 today was a 5 in the depression area but a 8 in the energy area. And I am looking forward to tomorrow. that doesn't happen often at all. 

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Two Week Challange

I recently read an article on how to fight depression naturally. I am going to try it and see if I see any difference. As some of you may know, medications stop working as good after some time. So I hope this is going to give me a boost back to life.

The Plan:

Amazing Grass... of which I love anyways. It's organic and really does make you feel better. Unfortunately is looks and smells like crap. But in the end you feel like a new person.

Eat mostly organic foods.

Walk at least 3 days a week outside.

Volunteer at least once a month.

Reduce my wine intake to only on the weekends.

I will give a daily update on my mental and physical progress.

Sunday, June 29, 2014


This quite possibly is the most aggravating thing in my life. In the hospital I was diagnosed with manic depression. I wanted to say tell me something I already didn't know. I had attempted suicide and failed. I was very frustrated but at least everyone knew now right? But did that change anything? No, everyone knows but very few want to recognize it. About two weeks after i was released from the hospital I guess everyone thought I was cured. There is not a cure for this. The issue is that no one wants to hear negative feelings. That only makes you feel more alone and isolated.  No one wants to date a person that is depressed. People think of you as being crazy. People that have never experience depression do not understand how you feel so they either pretend you don't have it or isolate themselves from you all together. It's hard to blame them for feeling uncomfortable and not wanting the negativity in their lives. So the cycle continues for the person with depression.

September is suicide prevention month but shouldn't every month be. My best attempt was in April. Statistics point out all the time the number of suicides each year. That is just too late. The education has to be on how to help and love someone depressed. How to talk to them and make them feel accepted for who they are. Everyone wants to feel accepted and loved despite their flaws. 

I was told that I would more than likely have to be on medication for my entire life. Am I supposed to go through my entire life feeling abnormal? Or is someone going to say I love you just the way you are? 

Suicide facts from 

• Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death for all 
ages in 2010
• There were 38,364 suicides in 2010 in the United 
States--an average of 105 each day.
• Among adults aged ≥18 years in the United States 
during 2008-2009
• An estimated 8.3 million adults (3.7% of the adult 
U.S. population) reported having suicidal thoughts in 
the past year. 
• An estimated 2.2 million adults (1.0% of the adult 
U.S. population) reported having made suicide plans 
in the past year. 
• An estimated 1 million adults (0.5% of the U.S. adult 
population) reported making a suicide attempt in 
the past year. 
• There is one suicide for every 25 attempted suicides.3
• Among young adults ages 15 to 24 years old, there are 
approximately 100-200 attempts for every completed 
• In 2011, 487,700 people were treated in emergency 
departments for self-inflicted injuries.
Suicide among males is four times higher than among 
females and represents 79% of all U.S. suicides.1
Females are more likely than males to have had 
suicidal thoughts
Firearms are the most commonly used method of 
suicide among males (56%).1
Poisoning is the most common method of suicide for 
females (37.4%).

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Penzu......just for you.

I have been looking for a daily journal that I could do online and finally found one. To be honest I had a hard time finding a journal that was just like the ones that were hand written. I have the worst hand writing on earth so I wasn't interested in going to Walmart and buying a notebook and pen to only show how bad a speller I was. I know.. no one is supposed to be reading your journal but there is always this one person that finds it and can't help themselves. Then not only do they find out all your personal thoughts but also how bad you spell. No thank you, I like my spell check and cute fonts.

The site is AND it's free. Of course like anything else you can pay for extra features and I might later on but the free version suits me just fine right now. I have been using it for about two weeks now and since I'm already online snooping on Facebook, it's easy just to pop over and make a journal entry for the day. With the free version I have setup a reminder to be sent to my email each day in case I forget. Below are the comparison of the free version and the Pro version. The only thing I don't see is the option to order a printed version of your journal. You have the option to print yourself but I think It would be neat to order the journal at the end of each year. So check it out. I love it.


Penzu Free   Penzu Pro
Unlimited SpaceCheck!Check!
Mobile AccessCheck!
Multiple JournalsCheck!
Insert Images from Computer and FlickrCheck!Check!
Large Size Images with Download OptionCheck!
Share via Email, Public linkCheck!Check!
Commenting on Shared EntriesCheck!Check!
Basic LockCheck!Check!
Military-Grade Encryption LockCheck!
Rich Text-FormattingCheck!
Spell CheckCheck!
Shuffle and Lock PromptsCheck!
Add Custom AvatarCheck!
Customize Pad Style & BackgroundsCheck!
Change Entry DateCheck!
Versions (coming soon)EntriesCheck!
Print Multiple EntriesCheck!Check!
Import posts from Live JournalCheck!
Import posts from RSS feeds and XML filesCheck!
Export to PDF, XML, and TXT filesCheck!
Move EntriesSettingsCheck!
Submit Entries Via Email with Penzu PostCheck!
Sort Entries by TagsCheck!
Looking GlassCheck!Check!
Change Time ZoneCheck!Check!
Auto LogoutCheck!Check!
Email RemindersCheck!Check!
Encrypted Database DumpsCheck!
Default Font and Font SizeCheck!