Sunday, June 29, 2014


This quite possibly is the most aggravating thing in my life. In the hospital I was diagnosed with manic depression. I wanted to say tell me something I already didn't know. I had attempted suicide and failed. I was very frustrated but at least everyone knew now right? But did that change anything? No, everyone knows but very few want to recognize it. About two weeks after i was released from the hospital I guess everyone thought I was cured. There is not a cure for this. The issue is that no one wants to hear negative feelings. That only makes you feel more alone and isolated.  No one wants to date a person that is depressed. People think of you as being crazy. People that have never experience depression do not understand how you feel so they either pretend you don't have it or isolate themselves from you all together. It's hard to blame them for feeling uncomfortable and not wanting the negativity in their lives. So the cycle continues for the person with depression.

September is suicide prevention month but shouldn't every month be. My best attempt was in April. Statistics point out all the time the number of suicides each year. That is just too late. The education has to be on how to help and love someone depressed. How to talk to them and make them feel accepted for who they are. Everyone wants to feel accepted and loved despite their flaws. 

I was told that I would more than likely have to be on medication for my entire life. Am I supposed to go through my entire life feeling abnormal? Or is someone going to say I love you just the way you are? 

Suicide facts from 

• Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death for all 
ages in 2010
• There were 38,364 suicides in 2010 in the United 
States--an average of 105 each day.
• Among adults aged ≥18 years in the United States 
during 2008-2009
• An estimated 8.3 million adults (3.7% of the adult 
U.S. population) reported having suicidal thoughts in 
the past year. 
• An estimated 2.2 million adults (1.0% of the adult 
U.S. population) reported having made suicide plans 
in the past year. 
• An estimated 1 million adults (0.5% of the U.S. adult 
population) reported making a suicide attempt in 
the past year. 
• There is one suicide for every 25 attempted suicides.3
• Among young adults ages 15 to 24 years old, there are 
approximately 100-200 attempts for every completed 
• In 2011, 487,700 people were treated in emergency 
departments for self-inflicted injuries.
Suicide among males is four times higher than among 
females and represents 79% of all U.S. suicides.1
Females are more likely than males to have had 
suicidal thoughts
Firearms are the most commonly used method of 
suicide among males (56%).1
Poisoning is the most common method of suicide for 
females (37.4%).


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