Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Let it go

My house is busting at the seams. Every closet and cabinet you open is completely full. I have decided to have a yard sell the last weekend in April. So I’m cleaning out everything, with no luck at all. I’m not usually one to have a hard time letting things go. But for some reason every time I look at something I think well I could use it if I …… but I never do. Most things I have had for 10 or so years. I have four different kinds of dishes, every appliance in the world and hardly use any of them and clothes in every size from 4 to 12. Let’s face it I will never see a 4 again. This is going to be a challenge for me but I love a challenge.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My quiet time today was just as awesome as yesterday; But just a little different. I was slowly flipping the pages of my super awesome cookbook when I looked to the left. I noticed how beautiful my land was. Everything was turning green; my son AM was out there riding his dirt bike. I was thinking about how lucky I was to have that land. How much God has blessed us with our small house to keep our family close, my wonderful family and food on our table. I began thinking about how much we all take advantage of our time here on earth. Basically I go to work and come home.

A good many years ago I went to the doctor to complain about being cold and tired. He jumped to say I was depressed. I assured him he was wrong. He assured me he wasn’t. He asked what I like to do. So after a long thought I gave him a small list of things I liked to do. Then he said when’s the last time I did any of those things was. I could even answer him. I hadn’t done any of them recently. I told him I worked too much. He then asked me if I thought my work really cared about my heath, had they ever even asked. NO. I had to take charge. He prescribed a month in the tanning bed for some good UV brain stimulation and of course some drugs that I never took. The tanning bed worked though. It was great. I feel I have fell back into that routine.

I love to bake. I worked at Publix in the bakery once and fell in love with it. I like puzzles and I once read a book or two and enjoyed it. I like to scrapbook, even though I don’t really know how. I like to sit on my porch in front of a fire and talk to my husband. I love to sit and look at my children. I love pictures. I look at them over and over again. I like to hike and take nature walks. I like to drink coffee with my dad and he likes to drink it with me. I like to look at my mom’s (Vicki) magazines and sit on her couch and talk to her. I LOVE recipe books. I love to make things for others. I love to fight with my sisters. I always win. I think I could go on and on.

I have got to let work be just that an 8 hour event that ends when I leave. Than my life starts.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Quiet time

My friend Jess inspired me on this one, mandatory quiet time. I love it. Today I couldn’t wait to get home and have my quiet time. I grabbed my new cookbook and sat on my porch swing with my faithful dog Sammy (he was trying to read or eat the book too) and spent a good 30 min looking at recipes. The birds were singing, my neighbor’s dog was barking, my neighbor was yelling at her dog to shut up, that’s nature if I ever heard it. No husband, no kids, no phone or TV; only the sound of nature.

Some of you may or may not know but I am completely addicted to cookbooks but I never get to really look good and hard at them. I am taking this opportunity to do that. I found a ton of great recipes that I can’t wait to try.

I am also making my kids take quiet time. They are not as happy about it as I am. Quiet time consisted of no music, electronics or phones. Lose touch with the world and get in touch with yourself and God.

I feel a lot more relaxed after my quiet time today. Everyone should try it.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

I am finding that finding another church home is become really hard.

I have attended my church off and on for 13 years. My children have just about never missed a Wednesday with this church. I can remember the first time I was invited to this church, the first Sunday school class that I attended and absolutely did not fit into. I was 19 and a single mother of two children and in a collage and career class. I wasn’t in collage or making a career. Most women in the single women’s class did not have children and I wasn’t married so I did quit going to Sunday school. But I loved that church. They basically helped me raise my children, help send them in the right direction with the Lord. I was soon saved and Baptized into the church. I was so excited. I really felt like a new person and in the right path. I had so much support from Marian, Mr. Rick and Steve Hammond. The church offered camp for my kids and being single mom did not leave me with much money but Mr. Rick and Steve always made it happen. There are so many people in that church that help make my family what it is today. Although I did grow in that church I always felt like something was missing, not sure what but something wasn’t just right. About 3 or 4 years ago I had a member of the church walk up to me and ask had I filled out a visitor’s card. I was hurt and angry. Not angry at the member but at myself. I had not been involved in this church enough for this person to know that I was there. That woke me up. But I just could not find my place in the church. I could not find where I belonged. I did go visit another church and fell in love. I fit in so right and quickly ran into something I had never thought about. My children were attached to PVBC. I did not have the heart to rip them from the only church they had ever known nor were they willing to leave. I felt so selfish. I soon returned to PVBC. But that feeling of needing to do something never left my heart.

So at the beginning of the year our family decided to go visiting other churches. I want to serve the Lord and I know there is something I can be doing to serve Him better. Our quest is to find a church that fits us all. And that does seem to be challenge. I love praise and worship music. I love Bro. Glenn. Ok I know there is only one place to find him. I want to volunteer in the church and participate in church activities. I want the church to be close to my home so that we can do that. I don’t want to compete to fit in. I want to be known for who I am. I want a great youth program that my kids can participate in. So off we go.

Church number one: None will be named. The music was good. What song to the Lord isn’t? The preacher touched my heart. It was small. Only 38 attended that Sunday. Not much of a youth group. It is super close to my house. (Bro. Glenn was not there). I know someone that goes there.

Church number two: The music was awesome. I could have stayed all day for that. It was a big church. 527 attended Sunday school a few Sunday’s ago. Almost felt lost. (Bro. Glenn was not there). It is super close to the house. Has a huge youth group. Good for a second visit.

I am finding it hard to find a church that all will be happy with. We still have more to visit. I am having a hard time “replacing” (lack of a better term) Bro. Glenn. I wish I could scoop him up and take him with me. I have felt like he has preached right to my heart every time he opens his mouth. I understand and hold on to each end every word he preaches. One of my children totally misses PVBC. That again is tugging at my heart. I just fill like I have so much to give. I feel a little homeless right now.