Monday, May 26, 2014

Life in the last year........

I'm just going to say this outright.....Life has sucked. I haven't posted in over a year because no one wants to do anything while their life sucks. I will admit it hasn't sucked for the entire last year. I have had some good times so I guess you could say I have been on a roller-coaster ride and to be honest, I want the ride to stop for a little while so I can catch my breath.

A little over a year ago my life came tumbling down around me. That's when my roller coaster started heading down down down the big huge hill. You know how your stomach drops when all you can see is air and you know you are heading into the unknown....that was me. My husband had cheated and I was not prepared for this at all. My entire life was going to change and that was not in MY PLAN!

So I decided if my life was going to be like this then I quit. I quit life. I didn't want to play anymore. This was not my plan and I was the one who decided how my life was going to go or of it was going to go at all. I failed and ended up in the mental hospital for a week.What I learned is that it wasn't me at all that was in control of my life, it was Him. He would decide if I lived or died and how my life would go. I needed to quit fighting it and let Him lead me.He never promised it was going to be easy and He wasn't going to let me quit. He wasn't through with me yet. So here I go again...back up a steep hill holding on for dear life.

I met a man that made me so happy. He helped me through all the whoops that were thrown my way. I was living again. Maybe in a fantasy world as I have been told, living none the less. But as Newton said - What goes up must come down and I had just traveled up a very steep incline and not prepared, once again, for the drop zone that was coming my way. No, this could not be happening. But it did! He said not yet and I had to accept that.

One thing I have learned is life goes up and life comes down but that doesn't mean you can jump off the ride until He has stopped it and says you can get off. I'm not saying I understand and accept everything that happens without complaint. But I do know that I am safe on this ride because the man in charge wants nothing but the best for me. He loves me and good things will His time, not mine. Until then I will have to trust in Him.


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